I started my blog partly so that parents would feel less alone. So in the words of Poppy Troll, “can I take a minute to get a little real?”

I am 352% done with this day. I cannot wait for my kids to go to bed tonight. I love them so much, but bedtime can’t come soon enough. Like two hours ago would’ve been fantastic.

Everyone has their own ways to deal with stress on the long days. In this house, when everything is falling apart and no one is happy, we sing. Christmas carols, pop hits, church hymns—you name it.

A family favorite lately has been Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Today, when everyone was crying, I belted it out while my older kids sang along: “I heard there was secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord....”

Of course, I am still at the end of my rope and singing Hallelujah won’t make me more a patient parent. But it does somehow make me feel a little better. As I write this, Seth is playing it for the babies as he puts them to sleep.

I always come back to one line in that song: “Love is not a victory march, it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.”

Oh, it’s so good, right? It gets me every time. Because it’s true.

Love is not a victory march. 
Love is showing up, day in and day out, even when you want to give up. Even when there’s nothing left to give. 
Love is hard and beautiful and exhausting. 
Love is doing the work of parenting even though you are tired to the bone. 
Love is also doing the work of parenting for your spouse, your other half, when he or she cannot.

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah. Always.

Well, friends, it looks like I have 1 down. 5 to go. It may be an early night after all.